Thursday, January 16, 2014

Homewreckers, Jezebels and Cheaters.....Oh my

*Rant Initiated*

So we're here huh? I suppose it would only make sense. All of the conversations we had about "why (some successful and some not) black women are single" now leads us to an explosion of conversations on how apparently they are "all" sleeping with married men. Unless you are living under a rock, or to be fair, if you only have a token black friend in your life, you know these discussions are being fueled near and far by shows like Scandal and Being Mary Jane. In both shows, the main characters are single, successful black women, who are involved in relationships with married men. Now, this is where the flood gates open, some are mad at the supposed impression it gives to others about single black women, some are at bare minimum appalled to see a black (or maybe any) woman with such moral flaws, and then there are those who simply want the world to know "they would never!" and can't believe any one has or does.

Well my thoughts(you did expect that when you came here right? Ok, cool) go a little something like this:

1. A television character is a television character, he/she does not reflect all of a people no matter what his/her race, gender, or sexual orientation. A drama has to have drama, so yes there are going to be some situations, events, etc. that invoke conflict, THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED A DRAMA DINGBAT! As a community,I believe black people need to care a little less about the images that are portrayed to other races. I do not represent all black women, just as the actions of another black person do not reflect on me. I am an individual, and anyone who thinks they know everything about me based on the actions of someone else who shares a pigment, is way too stupid for me to associate with anyway. I can not bring myself to give that brand of ignorance my friendship or energy. You want a New Year's resolution? Leave the "not in front of white folks" mentality in 2013, better yet 1963. New Year, New you right? By the way, if your image argument is about what young black girls see, then my question to you is, what is your young impressionable daughter doing watching television at 10pm on a Tuesday or Thursday night? Oh, wait, she's also taking selfies and singing "Ride it with my surfboard" too, nevermind.

2. Ok, can we please, please, please with sugar and a cherry (bing not maraschino) on top stop acting as if these situations have not occurred for centuries and are ever going to stop, PLEASE! There are too many people with outside siblings and children to pretend they don't know anyone who has ever been involved in an extra marital affair, that is if they weren't the participant themselves. It's amazing how stoic one's morals can be until they are the one the hotel room door closes behind. Being completely unable to relate or understand how this situation happens at 30 plus, only says to me, you have never had a friend who found you trustworthy enough to share. It is a numbers game, if not you, someone you know has either cheated on their spouse, been cheated on, or has been the other man or woman. Now, if no one has ever come at you with that bit of information, and it is not you who is the culprit/victim, I have no choice but to crown you the king/queen of all that is naive and relationship-less (yeah probably not a word), which leads me to my final point...

3. On the flip side of the coin, or bed, based on how you look at it. Let me be clear; cheating is WRONG, no matter what side of the situation you have fallen (that is for all the "I'm not the one who is married" arguments I've heard from men and women). However, nothing is more annoying than hearing single people talk about the dynamics of marriage, and the shame they place upon experiences they have not had. I have yet to encounter a single person who has a clue when it comes to marriage. Yes, living with someone, having a child with someone, being a 10 year common law couple all cultivate a different energy between a couple, but it IS different from that of marriage. So far, all of the married people I have discussed this with have agreed, it is not the same. I am not a mother, but yes, I have my opinions on aspects of motherhood, based on the experiences of the mothers in my life, however, to tell a mother what she should and should not do without her asking for my opinion is NEVER going to happen. I have no real place of authority on the subject of motherhood above a mother, just as a single person has no real authority above that of a married person on marriage. So all the "I would never" and "I can't believe him/her" should be saved for the ears, minds and hearts of those who actual care.

Bottom line: Worry about that which affects you, and if it does not entertain you, whether it be fictional entertainment or real life propositions, simply remove yourself from the situation.

*Rant Complete*

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