Sunday, May 18, 2014

And This Is Why I Call It Scatter Brain

Sometimes I just like to express, to share, most times I don't think I care if anyone is even listening. I grew up in one of those homes where "What happens in this house, stays in this house" was said often. I have kept, and still keep, many of my own, as well as secrets of others all too well. So, sometimes I just want to say random shit for absolutely no reason. This is probably why in the survey days, I did ever single damn one. I don't necessarily go around telling my life story as a result of a secretive family and years of shyness; but I do like to keep, maybe not an open door, but an open window policy as to who I am as an adult. So, today I thought I'd share some random things about me. I'll try to pick a few things you may not know.

1. I'm part Creole. My great grandfather's death certificate (to my surprise) doesn't even say he was black, his race was actually listed as Creole. Black people were serious about that separation, wait did I say "were"? Nevermind, different discussion for a different day. Oh and ummmm...No, I don't know how to make gumbo, my grandma did not call me cherie and at family gatherings there is no Zydeco. Somehow, when my ancestors moved from Louisiana to Alabama none of the markings of Creole culture came with them. And after the migration North well, let's just say Dean Big Brother Almighty said it best "we're from Detroit, Motown!"

2. I hate people to over analyze, dissect, or just damn stare at what I am eating. It's an after effect of being bullied for years. I was teased about my weight throughout elementary school, and of course at lunch there were always jokes about what I was eating. I eventually began to hide what I was eating under the table. I held what I was eating in my hands under the table until I was ready to take a bite. I would take my bite and back under the table it would go. Good thing my mama made me sandwiches and Ziploc baggies with chips, I would have been screwed with some leftover spaghetti and wings. By junior high I just stopped eating lunch altogether.

3. I used to smoke cigarettes. I chose Virginia Slim Super Slims because I thought they at least were so small I still looked like a laaddyyy when I smoked in public. Eventually, I switched to clove cigarettes and finally I quit. But, I've been known to keep a pack of Djarums on know....just in case. There were very few people I did it in front of and the funny thing is the guys I dated who were smokers....blacks, cigarettes, weed, whatever....I used to give them hell for it. Dammit, I'm such a hypocrite sometimes.

4. I used to have a thing for DJs/Producers. While most girls were all about the artist, I liked the guys who were behind the scenes. Although, I did end up on a few dates with a couple more well known ones while in NY, but it's NY *shrugs*. I think it's just they have the same love for music I do. Hell if you love the music more than the fame and the money, well then you had me hook, line, and sinker, just ask that one I married;-)

5. I typically will discuss sex in general terms all day, everyday, but I rarely speak in specifics; those conversations, truly a small circle. It was my way of finding a balance through all of those college discussions. End Game: I was not considered a prude but I wasn't setting myself up or being coined a hoe either. I can not even count the amount of men friends I know who got second hand info and used it against some girl later because her ass told way too much to the wrong people. I only had to be told once what shockingly low numbers put women in the "hoe" category. Funny thing, I have only had one man notice I never spoke in specifics and details when it gave to sex and he was someone I dated who was about 8 years younger than me....sometimes the young boys pick up on things a lot quicker than grown men.....

Well okay I think I'm done for now....if you made it to the end and actually took a little interest in lil ole me than I thank time I promise I'll write about something with some substance, just dipping my toe back in this little writing pool I call my blog.